I always used to think I write best when I’m drunk, but in retrospect whenever I read something I’ve written while inebriated it’s always terrible. To be fair that could be for the same reason I think everything I write is terrible, but it feels like a different kind of terrible. Full disclosue I’m drunk right now. I feel like I’m outside my own brain. I’m going through all these emotions and I feel like I should be sad. But I think that’s the only reason I am feeling sad. Because I feel like I should be. Truth be told I don’t think I’ve felt a true emotion for a long time. I’m worried I’m turning into a sociopath. Worried, excited, I don’t rightly know. I do know however, that my life is going to blow up in one way or another some day. Be it that I kill myself in some spectacular fashion or that I become famous for my merits, or both, I think people will find these old terrible writings and truly realize how mentally retarded I was/am, and that in the end it all made sense. I’ve nearly finished the bottle now by the way. Knowing myself I’m gonna make myself throw up because I’ve eaten a lot of snacks and I don’t want to hold on to the calories.
One day I’m gonna do something significant. I’m sure of it.